Q: How do you fit more pigs on your farm?A: Build a sty-scraper!
Q: What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk?A: An udder failure.
Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?A: Because they have big fingers!
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?A: Spoiled milk.
Q: Why are teddy bears never hungry?A: They are always stuffed!
Q: Why do fish live in salt water?A: Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.
Q: Where do polar bears vote? A: The North Poll
Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? A: Odor in the court!
Q: What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? A: Ouch!
Q: Why did the snake cross the road?A: To get to the other ssssssside!
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
Q: What do you call a cow that won't give milk?A: A milk dud!
Q: When is a well dressed lion like a weed?A: When he's a dandelion (dandy lion)
Q: How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?A: Pleased to eat you.
Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian?A: He felt funny!
Q: What fish only swims at night?A: A starfish!
Q: Why is a fish easy to weigh?A: Because it has its own scales!
Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?A: An eggroll!
Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road?A: Because there was a KFC on the other side!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?A: To show everyone he wasn't chicken!
Q: Why did the lion spit out the clown?A: Because he tasted funny!
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?A: To prove he wasn't chicken!
Q: What animals are on legal documents?A: Seals!
Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?A: A pie-thon!
Q: What is 'out of bounds'?A: An exhausted kangaroo!
Q: What did the spider do on the computer? A: Made a website!
Q: What did the computer do at lunchtime?A: Had a byte!
Q: What does a baby computer call his father?A: Data!
Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing?A: It had a virus!
Q: What is a computer virus?A: A terminal illness!
Q: Why was the computer cold?A: It left it's Windows open!
Q: Why was there a bug in the computer?A: Because it was looking for a byte to eat?
Q: Why did the computer squeak?A: Because someone stepped on it's mouse!
Q: What do you get when you cross a computer and a life guard?A: A screensaver!
Q: Where do all the cool mice live?A: In their mousepads
Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant?A: Lots of memory!
Q: What did the buffalo say to his son when he went away on a trip?A: Bison!
Q: Why didn't the boy believe the tiger?A: He thought it was a lion!
Q: How do bees get to school?A: By school buzz!
Q: What do you call a bear with no ears?A: B!
Q: What animal has more lives than a cat?A: Frogs, they croak every night!Q: What is black; white; green and bumpy?
A: A pickle wearing a tuxedo.
Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours?A: Nacho cheese!
Q: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?A: Sanka!
Q: What's the best thing to put into a pie?A: Your teeth!
Q: Waiter, this food tastes kind of funny?A: Then why aren't you laughing!
Q: Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?A: I'm not telling you. You might spread it!
Q: Why do the French like to eat snails?A: Because they don't like fast food!
Q: Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea?A: To go with the jellyfish!
Q: Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?A: Because it might crack up!
Q: What did the baby corn say to it's mom?A: Where is pop corn?
Q: What do you call candy that was stolen?A: Hot chocolate!
Q: What kind of nuts always seems to have a cold?A: Cashews!
Q: Waiter, will my pizza be long?A: No sir, it will be round!
Q: What is green and sings?A: Elvis Parsley
Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?A: Because it wasn't peeling well!
Q: What is green and brown and crawls through the grass?A: A Girl Scout who has lost her cookie.
Q: What is white, has a horn, and gives milk?A: A dairy truck!
Q: What candy do you eat on the playground?A: Recess pieces.
Q: Why don't you starve in a desert?A: Because of all the 'sand which is' there.
Q: How do you make a walnut laugh?A: Crack it up!
Q: In which school do you learn to make ice cream?A: Sunday School.
Q: What do elves make sandwiches with?A: Shortbread
Q: Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?A: Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
Q: What is a pretzel's favorite dance?A: The Twist!
Q: What are twins favorite fruit?A: Pears!
Q: If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?A: Slippers!
Q: What do you give to a sick lemon?A: Lemon aid!
Q: Why did the lady love to drink hot chocolate?A: Because she was a cocoanut!
Q: How do you make a milk shake?A: Give it a good scare!
Q: What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?A: An astronut!
Q: What kind of keys do kids like to carry?A: Cookies!
Q: Why don't they serve chocolate in prison? A: Because it makes you break out!
Q: What cheese is made backwards?Q: What is a cow's favorite day?A: Moo-years Day!
Q: What do you get a man who has everything for his birthday?A: A burglar alarm!
Q: What do you get when you plant kisses?A: Two lips.
Q: What did the light bulb say to her man on Valentine's Day?A: I wuv you watts and watts.
Q: Where does the Easter bunny get his breakfast?A: IHOP!
Q: How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?A: Lots of eggercise!
Q: What was the most popular dance in 1776?A: Indepen-dance!
Q: What do you call a fake stone in Ireland?A: A sham rock
Q: Why is St. Patrick's day most frog's favorite holiday?A: Because they are already wearing green
Q: Knock Knock, Who's there? Irish. Irish Who?A: Irish you a happy St. Patricks dayQ: Knock, knock----Who's There?----Ashe----Ashe who?A: Bless you!
Q: Knock, knock----Who's there?----Nobel----Nobel who?A: No bell, that's why I knocked!
Q: Knock, knock----Who's there?----Leaf----Leaf who?A: Leaf me alone!
Q: Knock, knock----Who's There?----lettuce----lettuce who?A: Lettuce in and you'll find out!
Q: Knock-knock----Who's there?----Aaron----Aaron who?A: Why Aaron you opening the door?
Q: Knock, knock----Who's There?----Tank----Tank Who?A: You're welcome!
Q: Knock, knock----Who's there?----Hawaii----Hawaii who?A: I'm fine, Hawaii you?
Q: Knock, knock----Who's there?----Orange----Orange who?A: Orange you even going to open the door!
Q: Knock-knock----Who's there?----Gray Z----Gray Z who?A: Gray Z mixed up kid.
Q: Knock, knock----Who's There?----Who----Who Who?A: Is there an owl in there?
Q: Knock, knock----Who's There?----Anita----Anita who?A: Anita to borrow a pencil.
Q: Knock, knock----Who's There?----Woo----Woo who?A: Don't get so excited, it's just a joke.
Q: Knock, knock----Who's There?----Figs----Figs who?A: Figs the doorbell, it's broken!
Q: Knock-knock----Who's there?----Alice----Alice who?A: Alice fair in love and war.
Q: Knock, knock----Who's There?----Annie----Annie Who?A: Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
Q: Knock-knock----Who's there?----Yukon----Yukon who?A: Yukon say that again!
Q: Knock, knock----Who's There?----Boo----Boo Who?A: Well you don't have to cry about it.
Q: Knock, knock----Who's There?----Theodore----Theodore who?A: Theodore is stuck and it won't open!
Q: Knock-knock----Who's there?----Cher----Cher who?A: Cher would be nice if you opened the door!
Q: Knock, knock----Who's There?----Amos----Amos who?A: A mosquito bit me!
Q: Knock, knock----Who's There?----Police----Police Who?A: Police let us in, it's cold out here!
Q: Knock-knock----Who's there?----Amarillo----Amarillo who?A: Amarillo nice guy.
Q: Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?A: They kept saying Bach, Bach!
Q: Why couldn't the athlete listen to her music?A: Because she broke the record!
Q: What type of music are balloons scared of?A: Pop music!
Q: What makes music on your head?A: A head band!
Q: What part of the turkey is musical?A: The drumstick!
Q: What is the difference between a fish and a piano?A: You can't tuna fish!
Q: What has forty feet and sings?A: The school choir!
Q: Why did the girl sit on the ladder to sing?A: She wanted to reach the high notes!
Q: What is the musical part of a snake?A: The scales!
Q: Where did the music teacher leave his keys?A: In the piano!
Q: What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?A: A moo-sician
Q: What makes pirates such good singers?A: They can hit the high Cs!
Where did you get all of these?
ReplyDeletesome from my head ,some from unknown places.
ReplyDelete- Macy